“For one human being to love another… is perhaps the most difficult of tasks; the work for which all other work is but preparation.” — Rainer Maria Rilke
A deeply satisfying relationship can be among the greatest joys in life. The art of building a successful relationship does not come automatically out of the blue, but it is something you can learn. Relationship counseling can help.
My commitment is to provide a safe process and supportive environment in which people in meaningful relationships can nurture connection, resolve areas of difficulty, heal past hurts and grow. My goal is to help you improve communication, increase empathy, respect and trust and become more effective at handling the inevitable conflicts that arise in every relationship, so that you can more fully and freely enjoy your love. I emphasize a “no fault” approach in which both partners are invited to share full responsibility for any problems in the relationship and to work honestly, creatively and respectfully for change.
Couple’s psychotherapy provides a safe space where each person’s story can be heard without judgment. The complexity and uniqueness of your circumstances and histories will be honored. My goal is to help you decode the core emotional patterns that are operating under the words.
Therapy gives you the time to learn and practice the language of connection. If partners can identify underlying fears, needs and values, they can learn to listen more empathically, resolve conflicts more easily and connect more creatively.
I work with couples at every stage, those who are just starting out, those trying to deepen love or revive a lost connection and those who are struggling with problems such as an affair, separation or divorce.
I draw upon over thirty years of experience working with couples of all ages and stages of relationship. I welcome partners of any length and type of commitment and any sexual orientation.
If possible, I recommend sessions of 90 minutes for couples.
Sometimes couples counseling is not the best option right away. It may be better for you to be in individual relationship counseling to sort out your personal feelings before going into couples counseling.
In some situations, one partner may feel the need for couples therapy, while the other person does not want to participate. In such cases, the relationship may have to reach the breaking point before both partners can agree to get help. Rather than wait until your relationship reaches that point, I encourage the partner who is willing to seek therapy to come individually. Troubled relationships can improve even of only one partner is working actively to be happier and make positive changes.
I have extended experience working with couples whose children have special needs. My experience includes many years of work with parents of children with autism spectrum disorders and other developmental difficulties, as well as conditions such as congenital heart disease and other serious or life threatening illnesses.
Having a child with special needs puts particular stresses on the marriage and is a risk factor for divorce. Often well-meaning people, including some therapists, can get caught in pity, fear or projection. Parents who are struggling may end up feeling that they need to take care of the feelings of those around them, even their therapists. Working with a therapist who is very familiar and comfortable with the demands of special needs parenting can be a great relief, allowing you to get help that takes your family situation into account, while still recognizing your individual issues apart from your child’s difficulties.